Current mood:

...

A feeling...
It's really fun when things go the way you imagined it would even though in the process... you get hurt, humiliated and really..down.

Last Saturday (April 19, 2007) at the Rizal Memorial Sports Complex, 3rd Floor Paja Dojo.
NCR Selections.

I never really imagined winning a place without really fighting for it. See, usually there are only 2 - 3 players in my category, so there was always a sure slot for me. Who knew that this year's selection brought 2 more players in my category and that they'd only be getting 3 representatives in my category.

FastforwardI lost my first game (which really left me humiliated, depress and gave me an inferiority complex) to my first opponent. I almost lost my 2nd game and won thank god. God, i still felt embarrassed that i lost my 1st game.

My last opponent was the deciding factor if i was going to the nationals or not. I was going paranoid, all of my friends were giving me advices that sounded like another language from another planet to me, I was shaking-I was damn nervous. I was in doubt plus my sempais were there too which added more fear.

Anyway, as i stepped into the ring.. the space around me became smaller, my chest felt tight and my hands were somehow cold, I heard the referee shout 'Hajime', 'oh god~ it starting,' I thought loudly to myself. Every shout my teammates muttered sounded blur and i couldn't make of it. I took a deep breathe and approached. My 'komikata' isn't good, i admit but i knew i had to hold her somehow. I slipped my hand behind her, held my breathe and threw her. I can't recall what the score was but i knew i scored. The referee called a 'Matte' chance! i thought, i looked at my sempais, "Kipkip mo sayo!" and "twist pa!" they all shouted. I looked around, everybody were cheering, I couldn't believe it. She was attempting to throw me with hip throw, i thought i was going to lose but luckily we were both lacking 'the twist of the body' I don't know how but i pinned her to the ground, the referee whistled and the game was over. I won. It felt so good. I really thanked alot of people that day.. but i couldn't help feel regret with the outcome of my first match.

Then...it struck me. They kept saying how i play in training is better than how i play in tournaments. I don't know too. Is it because I was scared at that time that I couldn't do anything or is it because I'm having much fun in training but felt frustrated when there's a tournament coming up?

The NCR Selections is the preparations for the Nationals. It's this 2nd of May. Now, My body just needs more rest and training. It all needs to be normal to me. I haven't gotten used to it... I guess.

GO FIGHT! hahaha!! :)

On the side note:
I noticed that someone texted me during the tournament, it kinda made me ditzy and stuff. That's good.

---------------

I watched the 11th Hour for no apparent reason. I downloaded Avatar 3rd Book: Fire, episodes 10-13. I finished the Cassava Cake today. I read some things off the internet and customized my friendster, facebook and oh! multiply.

..and I'm currently taking my mind off of things for awhile. hahaha..